Interviewer: So when did this happen?

Couch: It was in the late ’90s.  At a party at [famous actress name redacted]’s house.

Interviewer: Were you alone?

Couch: No, we were in a room full of people, but that didn’t stop him.

Interviewer: I’m not sure how to put this delicately, but did you do anything that might have encouraged him?

Couch: No, I was just there, admittedly looking a little pulchritudinous and pouty but that’s how I’m made.

Interviewer: What happened next?

Couch: Well, first he just sat on me.  [sobbing]  I’m used to people doing that.  We all are.  It’s our lot.

Interviewer: And then what?

Couch: Then  he began running his hand over my back.  And then the next thing I knew he was all over me, stroking me, pressing up against me, dry humping me, pressing his hand down into my [unintelligible].

To be fair he was very drunk and he probably just thought I was just a woman or something…

[sobbing… unable to continue]