I had an incident today but heck, I’ve been texting and driving for so long it was probably bound to happen.  Law of large numbers.

So anyhow, I was texting and I look up and the light is turning red.  The car in front of me totally could have gunned it through the intersection but instead the wussy stops.  I had to make a split second decision and he was driving a really fancy BMW  so I didn’t want to run into his car.

So I hopped the curb, mowed down a couple pedestrians, and crashed through a pet store window, releasing a couple dogs, 3 cats, a cockatiel, and a ferret.  So yes, it was a little more ruckus than it needed to be for sure.

Then the police come and because of the DUI I just had they want to field test me.  Man, I never start drinking until close to quitting time at work, so I was stone cold sober.

I tried the ol’ “stuck accelerator pedal” thing but the cop noted I wasn’t driving a Pruis or even a Toyota. I tell ya, awful fixated on details.

So I’ll probably just get a “reckless driving” or something, no biggie.

What is “texting”?

Texting can actually mean a bunch of stuff: doing Facebook, Twitter, playing Candy Crush, reading email, or even actually sending text messages.

I do pretty much all of those things because I’m into my phone.  And driving, let’s face it, it’s tedious and boring.  I think I’m actually a better driver when I’m texting because I’m conscious of what I’m doing and actually am paying pretty good attention to the road.


I’m good at multitasking even if I do say so myself.  Today was just some bad luck.  Heck, could happen to anyone.

But I have to spend a lot of time in the car for my commute, and it’s really boring, especially on the expressways.

So using my phone is a welcome distraction on those long commutes.  What did people do before the smart phone?  Listen to the same old hits on the radio I suppose.  Snooze city.  Boring…

Should you do it?

I’ll admit it’s not for everybody unless you’re a really good driver like me, and even I lose track a little sometimes.  Like when I’m trying to finish a level on Candy Crush and I slow down to like 25 MPH in a 45 MPH zone and get a big conga line of cars behind me.  But at least I’m not causing an accident or anything because even if my lane usage gets a little, how you say, “creative”, I’m moving slow so they’ve got a chance to avoid me.

So don’t believe all that hype you see now, it’s not much different from changing the channel on the radio.  Just take reasonable care and it will be fine.  Today was just blue moon bad luck, that’s all.

By the way, I’m finishing this post on my phone while driving…