I woke up in some kind of alternate reality today where a candidate for a major political party has come out saying they’re “pro-baby.”  I can’t make this stuff up.

I mean, doesn’t he know that some babies grow up to be terrorists?  Or even worse, liberals?!?!  How can a seemingly rational politician be “pro-baby”?

I propose a simple religious test for babies.  Now I not unreasonable, I understand that babies still face some limitations in their communications abilities, so valid responses will consist of crying, laughing, and making boom-boom in their diapers.

As far as the mothers of those babies, sure they make less than other women (who make less than men because they’re lazy, oh wait, no that might be some ethnic minority, I always get this stuff confused) but they should because they’ve shown the poor judgment to become pregnant because of some man’s personal Vietnam.  Hmmm… where was I going with this?