Trump has said he “knows things we don’t know” about the Russian hacking.  He should know, he’s been right before.  And so we should be concerned, very concerned.

He bravely talked about Muslims dancing on rooftops when no one else would.  And now we wait with baited breath to learn the truth about the hackers from Donald himself.

We’ve managed to lay hands on extremely rare surveillance footage of the hackers.

What’s more, he knew Obama’s birth certificate was a fraud.  He sent his private investigators to Hawaii to unearth the truth.  They were so super covert the Hawaiian government said they were never contacted.  And what they found could have toppled the republic.  But Trump had the maturity and restraint to keep the information to himself.

Luckily the republic is back safely in the hands of rich white guys.  Whew.

P.S. Doesn’t having inside knowledge about the maneuverings of a foreign government imply some kind of treason?  Naw…