I’ve seen a couple of articles recently that attempt to explain liberal thinking to non-liberals so that they can try to wrap their mind around the bizarre ideas embraced by Those Guys.  It’s always useful to try to understand the other side’s way of thinking, no matter how strange it may be.  So in this piece we’ll explore some of their oddball premises in a bit more detail.

Note: we won’t pretend this is some kind of authoritative semi-official statement of the Liberal Mission.  It’s just this author’s perspective or opinion or whatever.

When you’re down and out

Social programs is one major place where the libtard thinking differs dramatically from the conservative point of view.  They talk about “social safety nets” which is a polite way of saying “sucking at the government’s teat.”  Look, if you get sick and can’t work and your family suffers, that’s your own fault.  Take steps to better your situation!  C’mon, move your lazy behind!

No seriously, we know that there are times where the circumstances are beyond your control and you might briefly need a hand.  But let’s not let it turn into a long-term dependency.  Get over your cancer already and get back to work!

Speaking of health care

If a conservative needs health care, they get a job that provides it.  Never mind the fact that it’s hard to get a job, let alone a good one with health care.  Just do it already and don’t expect the rest of us to pay for things!  Whiners, sheesh.

 Gun ownership

Ownership of firearms is something that was added in the 2nd amendment as an inalienable right so that we can keep the government in check when they’re trying to help people (see above).  And even though the language of the amendment says something about “regulating”, we know that regulating means “restricting” and we aren’t falling for that.

Liberals seems to think less guns means a safer society whereas we know that we just need more “good guys with guns” who are untrained and ready to pop somebody without all this fuss about “rights” and “due process” and all that other PC stuff.  Let me tell you, I trust Billy Bob from the trailer park to always make the right decision in a crowded business and to take out that guy who is arguing with the clerk and holding up the line.  I’ve got stuff to do.

Racism and prejudice and all that stuff we don’t talk about

Everybody is racist but liberals are just afraid to admit it.  C’mon, everyone is more afraid of people with darker skin, you know it’s true.  So while conservatives just look at the practical reality, liberals are all “wah wah discrimination” and think that we need to take specific steps to overcome that very rational discomfort or fear.

And then they take things further and think we need to actually discriminate against white folks to give others and equal chance.  We used to discriminate against the Irish and the Jews and the Catholics and the Italians and they’re all good now, right?  They didn’t need no “affirmative action.”

The environment

This is one of the funniest ones because, as everyone can tell, the environment is just fine. Men would never do anything that would impact the environment. All that stuff about the Cuyahoga river catching fire,  that was all almost a half century ago and certainly is not relevant to today’s discussion.  Businesses continue to make things cleaner and more emission-free so there’s really nothing to worry about.  Liberals just worry about nothing here and think we need to constrain business with irrelevant rules and restrictions.  And that will just make stuff cost more at Walmart!

Illegal aliens

Liberals think that illegal aliens are actual people or something strange like that.  They think they have families and that they sometimes even work.  Well, when they do they’re taking our jobs, OK?  They are here illegally, it’s an open and shut case, and if it’s illegal it’s bad.  Oh sure, liberals are quick to point out there are times where we made things illegal and later changed the rules a bit, like with booze or slavery.  But look at the big picture.  They are breaking the law and you don’t need to overthink things!


Liberals think it’s OK to kill babies.  I don’t think I need to get into detail here.  Killing babies is bad!  Killing is bad!  I know some other conservative principles seem to make things harder for folks once they’re actually living their lives, but again folks just need to get over it and pull their own weight.  If grandma, can’t keep up with the tribe, leave her by the trail!  I may have drifted off topic a bit, and used too many exclamation points, but I never let a topic or a “train of thought” constrain my thinking.

Even though women have attempted abortions for as long as they’ve been getting pregnant, they are and have always been wrong, and they need to face the consequence of their own tawdry behavior.  Men and their pushiness never had anything to do with it.  It’s the woman’s responsibility to stop things before they make babies.  They should control their urges and not turn around and kill those babies they made because of their wanton inability to restrain themselves.

The political parties

You really can’t discuss “liberal versus conservative” without mentioning their flesh incarnate, the political parties, the GOD (oops, I meant GOP) and the Democrats.  The GOP freed the slaves, OK?  We need to give credit where credit is due.  Sure, they parties so-called platforms have shifted a bit over time, but so what?  That’s normal to shift a bit as changes in society affect things.

Luckily we have the GOP as standard bearers to take us to a better world with morals and principles, as opposed to those lawless libtards who only want to legalize crime and take away our guns.

In summary

So I think you can see their point of view, but also how silly it is.  I’m certainly empathetic.  Their hearts are in the right places, they’re just a little wimpy sometimes.  This is the real world and they need to just pray for understanding!