Somebody obviously talked to him about his hair because all of a sudden it looks more normal.  The spray tan, not so much.  But he is apparently taking some advice from the political cognoscenti, and as such we can expect he’ll in general try to tone things down a tiny bit.  Not a lot.  He *is* after all The Donald.

But to make him more palatable to the general GOP voter they’ll certainly be wanting to not bring up a few specific things again.  Let’s look at what we’re now going to pretend never happened.

#1. Kill them all with bullets dipped in pigs’ blood

This could be the most un-presidential thing he has said, although granted that’s a tough call.  But it’s been largely forgotten in the wake of other scandalous moments. He manages in one statement to trample religion, international law, due process, and  basic human respect for bacon.

#2. Arguing with the pope about what it means to be Christian

So the pope had the gumption to say that some of Trump’s views were “non-Christian.”  How dare he think he knows anything about being a good Christian! So of course Donald had to come right back at him and call the pope some things that I’m pretty sure Jesus would not have said.

Side note: asked directly in an interview if he’s Christian he dodges the question just saying that “he won the religious right” as proof that’s he’s tight with God, that he’s got connections Up There.  Oh, and he’s also so humble you probably can’t wrap your head around how humble he is.

#3. That whole Megan Kelly thing

OK, he didn’t exactly say Ms. Kelly had her period, but as any 6th grade or older kid can tell you, that’s what he was implying.  He’s saying that her tussling with him was not about logic and reason, it was because she was having her time of the month.  There’s being too PC but then there’s just basic manners.

#4. Saying John McCain is not a war hero

Let’s review Donald’s war record.  Oh wait, he doesn’t have one.  He skipped out on the draft.  He had “bone spurs” or something.  It didn’t seem to impact his ability to participate in athletics, but as for signing up to serve our country, nope.  There is some whack conspiracy theory that money and connections helped him evade.  I’ve never heard of that kind of thing before though.

#5. Banning all Muslims

I am pretty sure that whole “religious freedom” is supposed to extend to all religions, not just Christianity.  He has subsequently clarified that this was just a “suggestion” or something, although presumably when you’re president, a “suggestion” has a little more weight than if you’re just some guy.

#6. Saying he saw Muslims celebrating

He claims he saw footage of thousands of Muslims on the rooftops celebrating when the twin towers came down.  Yes, there’s a common theme here.  Muslims are the font of all evil in the world apparently.

No one could find a single video clip of this so at the time he did the old “double down” strategy.  But at this point, maybe it’s time to just not bring this one up again, what say?

#7 .Mexico et al

His announcement that he was running for the presidency has been quoted many times, as that’s when he first came out swinging calling Mexicans “rapists” and “drug dealers.”  Apparently this was a huge rallying cry with his base.  I don’t think he can walk away from “build a wall” at this point, but I suspect he will back off on the “rapists and drug dealers” bit.

Borowitz quote: “Mexicans are swarming across the border, enrolling in law school, and becoming biased judges.”

By the way, about 50% of the folks here illegally came with a valid visa and just overstayed it.  And given a large number come down through Canada too, building the wall on the Mexican border will likely not have that great an effect on the total number of undocumented folks.

#8. Pocahontas and Lyin’ Ted and name calling in general

If he can’t refute someone logically in terms his base can understand, he just comes up with a cute, demeaning nickname.  This is called an “ad hominem” attack.  His base loves it, and it tends to be very tweet-worthy and short.  I don’t expect this to stop entirely but he doesn’t need to bring up his cute names for Cruz or Rubio anymore.  I don’t even think Warren will be in  his cross hairs unless by some bizarre twist of fate she’s tapped for VP.  We’ll just zero in on “crooked Hillary” now I suppose.

The attacks on Ted were particularly out of control as Cruz was the last man standing against Trump.  Trump attacked Ted viciously, using the nickname “Lyin’ Ted”, he insulted Ted’s wife’s looks and morality, and insinuated that Ted’s father was involved in the Kennedy assassination. Oh, and don’t forget another dose of, oh wait, we’re coming to that.

#9. Birtherism

Somewhere back in the dawn of time he took up the conspiracy theory that Obama was not a born-in-the-US citizen.  That all seems so quaint and relatively benign now.  Just an old guy whose sense of reality is slipping slowly away.  Aw, shucks, kind of like my Uncle Harold.  You just nod and smile.

But given Obama is headed for the door we certainly don’t need to bring up this ancient controversy, let alone remind everyone that for a spell there he was Birther in Chief.

Note: he used the “birther” attack on Cruz as well but that almost had some credence as Ted was born in Canada but had dual citizenship due to his mom’s US citizen status.

#10. Regarding his hot daughter

I know it’s just being overly PC to pretend you’re not attracted to your daughter (*cough* *gag*) but I think Trump gets it and will not bring this one up again.


He’s said so much more it’s really hard to pick through them all to find the most notable.  Comments about Jews, paying legal fees for violent folks at his rallies, punishing women who have abortions, making fun of the disabled, his many and varied misogynist comments about women.  Then there’s the “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” I like that last one because it’s offensive to multiple groups of people at the same time.  For further reading on the matter, just do a Google search.

* Note: this article has been distilled from a previous piece I wrote on Trump called “Bats**t crazy is the new normal.”