I remember my mommy telling me that anyone in American can grow up to be president. She was right! It just didn’t mean what I thought it meant.
I thought you needed unimpeachable moral character, a spotless record, and a gradual acquisition of public service experience.
You don’t need any of that. That whole arrest for public urination? A strong positive. After all, who hasn’t needed to urinate in public. Member of communist party? No problem. Feisty youth, that’s all. The restraining order saying I can’t come within 100 yards of a school? Not an issue. It shows an interest in our children’s future. Porn star wife or ex-wife (or even ex-wives)? Dude!
So as of today I’m officially throwing my hat in the ring. Jim Bob for president. Woo hoo!