OK, it’s Christmas, a time when a large portion of our nation honors those middle Eastern immigrants who were seeking shelter but for whom there were famously no beds.

Here’s what’s going on:

  1. We must build the wall to keep immigrants and bad people like ISIS from crossing the border. But Mexico will pay for it.
  2. Oh wait, no the American taxpayer will pay for it, and to get the wall we better defund the government, including Homeland Security that watches the border.
  3. A government shutdown means lots of people don’t have a paycheck at Christmas, but heck, who needs money at Christmas? Not rich people and politicians.
  4. Oh wait, politicians still get paid.
  5. But we have defeated ISIS so don’t think about number one.
  6. Probably about half the folks here illegally don’t cross the border, just overstay visas, but still the wall is the only way.  Remember how all those 9/11 hijackers all sneaked across the border into this country?
  7. There are lots of strong monetary incentives to come here because employers like to pay undocumented workers because they’re cheaper and we just kinda look the other way.  We could probably change that practice pretty easily, but no, it’s way funner to build a wall!
  8. We rejoiced when Germany tore down their wall, but that was a different wall. That was a bad wall.  This will be a very good beautiful wall.  The best wall.
  9. You know how Switzerland has all that public healthcare and education, well clearly that only works because they’re small and as that great capitalist icon Henry Ford taught us, nothing works better a scale.
  10. Finally, if you have any lingering doubt as to the brilliance of this administration, you gotta recognize that pulling out of Syria was a great idea because Putin confirms it!