The GOP has recently decided that porn is a public health crisis.  This seems to be just more politicians trying to distract us from what’s important by bringing up silly social issues.  Like the trans-gender bathrooms.  Sheesh.  I’ve only known two trans folks in my entire life.  And when it comes to public bathrooms, I’m probably not super comfortable with someone with their skirt hiked up using the urinal.

But I digress.  I thought I’d spend a moment talking about the positive side of porn.  The conservatives are always in a froth about abortion, and the way I see it, a little harmless porn session can save some poor woman from actually carrying an unwanted baby, so where’s the foul?

Let’s Do the Math

We’ve got roughly 320 million people in the US.  The census says that 18 – 44 year olds comprise about 40% of the population, and that’s a good age range for “sexually active.”  Now oddly enough, porn is definitely more of a male issue.  Women tend to look at a guys eyes or something, whereas us guys are firmly focused on the gazongas.

Let’s take the males who are in that sexually active age range.

320 million x 0.49 x 0.4 = 63 million.

Pregnancy occurs about 2.5% of the time from intercourse (not considering the large number of virgin births reported by unwed mothers).  That’s about one pregnancy from 40 boinks.

So to keep the math simple, let’s say the average male has 20 porn sessions per month which result in flogging the dolphin.  That’s about 6 pregnancies per year per guy saved by driving the tugboat.

63 million x 6 = 378 million

That’s greater than the population of the US in just one year!  So by indulging in a little harmless polishing the rocket they are avoiding a ginormous (that’s a scientific term) number of unwanted children (or abortions).

Deaths from Porn

Of course we need to account for the number of people killed each year by porn and include that in our scientific calculations, and although that data is a little tough to come by, it looks like, from several reliable sources that it’s about:

Zero

There was one guy who, right after the company I worked at in the 90s got an Internet connection, started keeping his door closed and had to wear a wrist brace for a while, but frankly that’s the worst side effect I’ve seen.

Crisis or Modern Convenience?

So, in summary, instead of being a public health crisis, it looks to be a huge positive.  I suspect it does leave a large number of American women teasing the weasel, but hey, small price to pay.