At the rally today, Trump was on the offensive.  “Obama is deliberately improving things.  Improving them for political reasons.”  He paused to let the weight of his words sink in.

“He’s turned the economy around, reduced the deficit, gotten us out of unpopular wars, and the stock market is doing great.  I’m richer than ever. But why is he doing this?” He paused again for dramatic effect.

“It’s so obvious.  I’m sorry if I have to tell you this.  But he’s doing it for political reasons.” He glared from the podium as if he wanted to be challenged on this point.

“And then there’s health care,” he continued.  Lapsing into his famous old stand  by, the hilarious imitation of a mentally challenged person he added, “I need care for my cancer.  Waah, waah.”  The crowd ate it up.

“And why is he making peoples’ lives better?  I’ll tell you! It’s so you’ll vote democratic, that’s why!  It’s  nasty.  Disgusting.”

A reporter (otherwise known as “the lowest form of life”) asked, “What do you think Hillary is going to do?”

“She will continue these same failed policies,” he answered quickly, “and for the same reasons. To get votes.  It’s lower than low.  I’m shocked.”  The candidate looked visibly crestfallen.

“What can I do to combat that?  Hate and fear only go so far when you’re up against someone actually improving peoples’ lives.  It’s hard to get those people to hate!”

His aide whispered in his ear.  “Maybe if you do the chant… that usually cheers you up.”

“Lock her up, lock her up,” he dutifully repeated and smiled wistfully, and the crowd joined in joyfully.