Calling the new excuse “bulletproof,” the student expressed dismay at the teacher’s continued intransigence.

“Obviously a case of instructional overreach,” he was quoted saying.

The text of the excuse is reproduced below:

The homework paper or papers, which may have existed, do not exist anymore and our resident canine was seen consuming a substance which may have been the homework paper (or papers) if they in fact were present and in a material form subject to being consumed by canines.  As such, the student, hereinafter referred to as simply “Don”, requests additional time to complete the assignment, or failing that, the option to not complete the prescribed task as described under statute 904.011 of the state educational code.